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[01 Nov 2005|09:27pm] |
I've thought about this alot.Enough ME notes on her livejournal.She needs me and i'm back.Happy Deepavali to all.I miss her alot.
When you're out there on your own
Where your memories can find you
Like a circle goes around
You were lost until you found out
What it all comes down to
One by one
The lonely feelings come
Day by day, they slowly fade away
Ooh, the look was in her eyes
you never know what might be found there
She was dancing right in time
And the looks she made so fine
Like the music that surrounds her
Should I stay or go?
I really want to know
Would I loose or win
If I try and love again?
gonna try and love again
I'm gonna try and love again
gonna try and love
gonna try and love
Right or wrong, what's done is done
It's only moments that we borrow
But the thoughts will linger on
of the lady and her song
When the sun comes up tomorrow
Well, it might take years to see
Through all these tears
Don't let go
When you find it you will know
Oh, Gonna try and love again
gonna try and love again
Sometimes lose, sometimes win,
Sometimes you need a friend
gonna try, gonna try
gonna try, gonna try, [etc.]
geylang.Ciaoz.
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[26 Apr 2005|06:51pm] |
I realise I havent been in here for quite a while.School's been crazy.I havent had anytime to myself what more girls.Met up with Shikz during National Track.I felt proud when I saw the Victorian Spirit burning in her.It's in her eyes,I'm telling you.
Studying and running.There's my life right now so I dont want to bore you guys.Remind me again when god has a much better plan for me.
Btw,you.I still love you.I want your attention.Mum's been asking for you.
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[31 Dec 2004|12:24pm] |
The girl.
I will be here.
Don't you cry.
My arms will hold you.
Keep you be warm.
This bond between us won't be broken.
You'll be here,in my heart.
I'll be there.
From this day on.
Now and forevermore.
No matter what they say.
Just you and me.
I'm not like him.
We can make this work.
I may not be with you.
But you've got to hold on.
Believe me.
You'll be in my heart.
I'll never give us up.
I promise you.
This time it will be different.
Just look over your shoulder.
I'll be there always.
We're going shopping today.Haha.Kakak thinks I should be carrying a nice red bag as she puts it coz it goes with the sportish look.Haha.Oh and stationaries are needed,mind you.Mummy's sending me to school on the 1st day of school so I won't be alone.Halfian got himself a job so the group of us are probably meeting up next week to celebrate his finally getting a job.Rather pathetic,dude.
A few people got attached recently and the girl's been talking to me more so I guess love definitely is in the air.Haha.Friz and Nam have definitely been great.Their cheerleading thing seems to be getting better.I went to watch a few days back.The girl's not in it coz she's got school but she's been helping out.Haha.She looks so cute teaching them.
Going back to school is not worth looking forward to but the training's been going well.Tiresome but fun.Met a few kids and I realise I'm not the only one who are thinking about career options now.The seniors have been great in encouraging us to keep going and I'm still keeping my options clear for now.
Ciaozah.
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[30 Dec 2004|08:49am] |
Here we are
You tell me I'm the only one
Who makes you feel love again
There you go
I see you watching him
When you don't think I know
Should I let you go?
So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?
chorus
Who do you love?
Who do you need?
You're messing up my mind
Wastin' all my time
Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playin with my heart
You're tearin me apart
Am I the one
who can make you fly up above
Is it me who can take you higher
than you're dreaming of
Now who do you love?
Who do you love?
Turn around
Do you really think you could
You'll play me like a fool
For you
Then I realize
When you touch me it's like nothing I have known
Could I let you go
So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?
You bleed just to know you're alive.Today is beginning to shine some sight of hope for us =)
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[28 Dec 2004|10:22am] |
You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to tell you it'll all work out alright
Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away
Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away
You can look at him the way you did me
And hold him close say you're never letting go
But any fool can see you're fooling yourself
But you ain't fooling me
So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away
And don't pack my suitcase, I'll be back
And don't take my pictures off a' the wall
Oh, did you hear me?
Don't let him change a thing 'cos I'll be back
Jus tell him to pack his things and get out of your life
And just give me one more chance
I'll show you I'm right, I'm right
'Cos I've been thinking and I know it was me leaving you lonely
But hoping you could be strong
But could you look at me straight
Tell me what else can I do but say I was wrong?
So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away
Well he's gonna try to make it work for you
Make you think your whole life's been leading to this
But whatever you do
Think about me and don't be fooled by his kiss
And don't let him steal your heart away
Please, don't let him steal your heart away
And don't pack my suitcase, I'll be back
And don't take my pictures off a' your wall
Oh, did you hear me?
Don't let him change a thing 'cos I'll be back
Jus tell him to pack his things and get out of your life
And just give me one more chance
I'll show you I'm right
You know I'm right
You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to say don't you worry it'll all be alright
But he's no good for you
He'll make you think your whole life's been leading to this
And whatever you do
Think about me, oh, and don't be fooled by his kiss
youknowiloveyou.
You know he doesnt.
School's starting siah.And where is Vjc?Right next to ECP.We're all gonna die if the Tsunami strikes again.Haha.Not bad lah if she's with me.She's so crazy,seriously.She's been trying to dig out the Orientation plan from the seniors.Haha.So now she's telling everyone to bring extra shirts just in case.Haha.
K,training's starting.Ciaozah.
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[25 Dec 2004|11:55am] |
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Merry Christmas everyone.I believe in the unifying power of love between two people.That's why I wonder when I'll ever have someone to hold during this joyous season.
Well,I should rather be happy since I did see her during this christmas.Well not up close, just from afar.She was running with her dad and I was running with mine.Didnt bother to say hello since we were kinda far apart.But it was nice seeing her again.Sadly,I do miss her.It's just that after she talked to me about where she wants us to go and that she really doesnt need anymore time to think about it,I felt sad.The girl has my heart and forever will.Maybe I should wait but she feels she wants to get to know me better and I guess,we'll end up as best friends.IS that good enough?I guess for now.\
Cest La Vie as the French might say.
She sounded distraught when I called her to tell her I saw her.I wonder if it's coz of you.
That aside,I've been training hard these days.That's why I havent been updating.The win meant nothing to me as I believe,securely that just because we are number one doesnt mean we cant work harder.So yeah.School's starting in about a week and I hope training continues.Despite being tired,I think running keeps my mind off the matters at heart right now.=)
That's about it.Ciaozah.
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[02 Dec 2004|08:58am] |
One day you'll come to me and
ask me what's more important::
You or my life. I'll say my life nd
you'll walk away never knowin
that you're my life.
No I'm not home yet.I'm still stuck in a boring place I really dun want to talk about.I'm at the hostel's cafe thing and I stole Ralph's laptop for better use than stupid mindless computer games.Anyways, I heard the homeland crowned their Idol last night.Him being Taufik Batisah.The girl's jubilant coz she's been supporting him all the way from arrogant idiot to Idol.
Even though you're next to me I still feel so alone.Why is that so?I'm unsure.The end of this wun mean the end of everything.It's just the beginning of more to come.I dont want to this anymore.I guess I'm just tired.I dunno if I should stay or turn arnd and run.Run.School.That's been my life until I met up with the others and we had a good chitchat about life and I realise I want more than to succeed in those two arenas.I dun want to get 6 pts and end up in Vj, running again.It's such monotony to do so.
Perfection in your eyes is not perfection in mine.Comprehendit?
No I dont think you do.
Its like I'm fighting myself in this race.Alone.No longer I am.And I dun have the girl with me this time to talk to me.Talk me out of pushing myself further into a hole so deep that it's gonna take forever for me to get out.I should've anticipated this.I would be lying if I said I hated running.I do adore it.But the countless trainings is making me loathe even walking.It hurts to do the same thing over and over again to see nothing in return.Fame?Yah so what.When I stop running, I'll be the same person as everyone else.That wud mean I cant stop.
I cant.STOP.
Oh and if you guys have been reading my Lj or blog, hell she isnt my gf so stop teasin me. We have a different kind of friendship.You guys just wun geddit.So stop reading this entry from my back.=P If you guys were clever enuff, check her friendster profile.It says single. =)
Ciaozah.
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| I have to see you. It's all I'm asking, baby. |
[28 Nov 2004|05:13am] |
Before I leave today =)
I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl). <
I've got so much honey the bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Ooooh.
I don't need no money, fortune, or fame.
I've got all the riches baby one man can claim.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).
I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
with my girl.
I've even got the month of May
with my girl (fade)
It's you I'll be thinking off while I'm away.Dont you dare doubt it when I say it's you I'll be missing.She hugged me just to calm me down.She hugged me and now I know everything's gonna be okay.One hug.And it was a virtual hug.Yet,its effects.
YouknowIloveyou.
To the rest of you, wish me luck.This is it.
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| Here I go.Scream my lungs out.There's just no one that gets me like you do. |
[27 Nov 2004|10:16am] |
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Only One : Yellowcard |
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ohmymofoticgod!
She fucking wore my ring on her ringfinger at her prom.smiles
How can you not love a girl like her?She surprises you in the morning by smsing to your sis to get her to wake you up and ask you to check her blog.You open her blog only to find another surprise!She's wearing the ring you gave her on her ring finger.She's full of surprises it seems.
But alas, she isnt mine yet.She's still out there finding herself and the true meaning of love.Let her continue with her search while I wait her patiently for her.I guess her relationship with Ameer meant alot to her even though she's putting up a careless attitude.
Earlier on yesterday,slacked with Halfian.Played xbox at his house before heading to the arcade near mine.Main House Of The Dead 5 times.Abeh tengok perempuan ciner main Para2 :) Damn funny but rather enigmatic.Mummy thinks I should go overseas or do something fulfilling this december.Suggestions, anyone?I told her to try to get a flight to NY on the 4th of Dec and she said,NEWYORK??! so loud that it woke Kakak up x)Haha so maybe we'll be heading back to our kampung soon.Mummy misses her mum arh.
Dad went jogging with me yesterday and he was asking me a lot of questions about how serious am I about running.He's very understanding.He doesnt wanna force me into taking it up as a career if I dont want and neither is he forcing me to give it up and focus on my studies more.I guess I myself have not made a decision.Talent shouldnt go to waste as coach puts it.
I registered for PAE yesterday with her.Same choices since our L1R5 are only a point different.1st choice : Vjc Science.2nd Choice: Vjc Arts.3rd Choice : Tjc Science.4th Choice : Tjc Arts.5th choice : Ajc Science.6th choice: Ajc Arts.7th Choice : ACJC Science.8th Choice : ACJC Arts.9th Choice : Mjc Science.10th Choice : Mjc Arts.11th Choice : TPJC Science.12th Choice : TPJC Arts. So we decided to put everything the same so that more or less we'll make it to the same JC.She's just afraid that she wun have any friends there coz she's so quiet.And I just wanna be where she is.
Okay,I better go.Today's Abang Shawn's birthday so we're going over.Belum beli present so I think kakak's going last-minute shopping.I think I'm gonna buy the Smile Empty Soul CD.35 faching dollars.Kakkkaaaaakkkkkkkkkkk, pwease?
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[26 Nov 2004|12:21pm] |
I wonder where she is.
I love my Kin more than anyone can comprehend.
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[23 Nov 2004|12:50pm] |
With Ramli, Halfian, Amalina, Friz and Nam.Watching DOOL and then, movie marathon.Hah.Mentang-mentang Princess ngan the girls are avid fans of the soap opera.So Ramli semua pun ikut princess.So we're stuck watching that stupid show.
Anyways,pergi Malaysia hari tuh.Shopping.Kakak bought a huge pile of baju-s and make-up.Seriously,I dunno where she's gonna place all the stuff.She bought the same perfume as princess also.Sweet Innocence.Hah.
I just bought a few shirts and caps.Hah.
Just got home when si Shikz telephone.So here I am.Sorry eh.Gtg.DOOL dah nak start.Hah.Ciaozah.
Shikz's here (: yayyy! Look at his layouuttttttt!!! Guess who's hard work issit? ME! (: Haha showofff~ I'm gonna steal him now! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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[18 Nov 2004|12:46pm] |
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Constantly girl you're on my mind
And girl I think about you all of the time
And even though words are hard to say
Girl I miss you, never thought I'd feel this way
If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking
So why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in
Baby can't you see that I need you?
You know that it's true
Every time I see your face I miss you baby
You know that it's you
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy
I'd do anything to help you to see
I don't think you understand what you're doing to me
You know that it's true
Every now and then I want to call you baby
You know that it's you
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady
Oh yeah
Life ain't anything alone
Can't you see you're an angel in my eyes
Everyday you're closer to me
Nobody's there when I call your name
And nights are cold girl without your flame
(Nights are cold girl without your flame)
But if I could girl I'd make you see
(I'd make you see, yeah)
That I'm sorry, and that I need you
Here with me (that I need you here with me)
If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking
So why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in
Baby can't you see that I need you?
You know that it's true
Every time I see your face I miss you baby
You know that it's you
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy
I'd do anything to help you to see
I don't think you understand what you're doing to me
You know that it's true
Every now and then I want to call you baby
You know that it's you
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady
Oh yeah
Life ain't anything alone
Can't you see you're an angel in my eyes
Everyday you're closer to me
Every day reminisce with the past
Of a love that we thought would last
How we used to be when it was you and me
How did it all disappear so fast
There are days that I can't forget
There are things that I now regret
I was there for you when you were there for me
And I was thinkin' we were set
Every night when I'm laying in my bed
I hear your voice going round in my head
Think of all the things I could have done and
All those things I could have said
I really will make it up to you
I know now what I've got to do
It took time but now I've realised how much I'm missing you
If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking
So why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in
Baby can't you see that I need you?
You know that it's true
Every time I see your face I miss you baby
You know that it's you
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy
I'd do anything to help you to see
I don't think you understand what you're doing to me
You know that it's true
Every now and then I want to call you baby
You know that it's you
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady
Oh yeah
Life ain't anything alone
Can't you see you're an angel in my eyes
Everyday
You know that it's true
Every time I see your face I miss you baby
You know that it's you
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy
I'd do anything to help you to see
I don't think you understand what you're doing to me
You know that it's true
Every now and then I want to call you baby
You know that it's you
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady
Oh yeah
Life ain't anything alone
Can't you see you're an angel in my eyes
Everyday you're closer to me
This song came on the radio while we were studying Chem together under her block =)
How apt.
I'm so envious on how he's always on her mind even when I'm with her.It's like she thinks of him 24/7 and I'm not there.I hate how she calls other guys manja stuff.I hate it when she answers the fone with Yes, darling? coz those words are meant for me.Deng.Who am I to her?Nothing.A study dude.Nothing else.She wears the ring as a sign of friendship.How disillusioned am i?She says she loves me but she loves many others as well.She hugs me but she hugs many others as well.
Girls.They have a way with me.
Ramli's decided to party tomoro despite his Combined paper on Monday.So he's following us to slack at Kallang.The guys wanna play soccer.Hwah damn tiring ah but bola is life.Makaning at the coffee shop near school.Dinner by the coffeeshop.Hah.Gilerness. Mesti makan satay.I think Raihan's bringing the bola but I'll just bring mine just in case.
Chemistry oh chemistry.Besok 19th Nov siah.=)Ciaozah.
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[18 Nov 2004|12:41pm] |
She's wearing a blue hairband.Hah.Yes,world!She let down her hair. =)
Physics was easypeasy.A Maths was giler.
Besok Chem and it's over.
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| I wonder if you ever stop for a second during your day and think about me |
[16 Nov 2004|06:30pm] |
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I screwed the mofotic history paper.Hah.Wait everyone did.Dammit.Why mofotic examiner asks a mofotic question like that for Germany?!Policies?! What policies?!Dammit.So I hentambocai did the Cold War quest since the teachers were going through it before school closed.Dammit.Fach the 6 points man.
"i hope you dont mind that i put down in words, how wonderful life is, now that youre in the world"
Hah.Kakak's got the Moulin Rouge DVD so we're all watching it tonight.I know I know.Tmr's physics paper.Blah.I cancelled tonight's tuition.Cannot help it.So stressed up.
Met her after the history paper.Well terserempaklah.She was so damn pucat, reading her geog text.Hah.Nerd.We talked.Craped actually.She was wearing the ring I gave her.On her index finger of courz.Den it came to this part of the convo.
Her : Okay,I better get going,darling.
Me : Me too.Cya around and remember!I'm pickin you up at 7am on Saturday,ayt?
Her : Bye!
Me : Wait!
Her : What?
Me : I love you!
Her : smiles I love you too.
Me : What?! Did you just say that?
Her : smirks yarh!
Me : runs to her and hugs her I've waited forever to hear that.
Her : I've waited forever for this moment.
And all this happened under her block.Heh.Under the block drama.
Damn.Today is good.
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| John Mayer calms me down. |
[16 Nov 2004|10:31am] |
She'll only break your heart, it's a fact. And even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain love grand? -Great Expectations.
She thinks I cant see the smile she's faking.
And poses for pictures that arent being taken.
She's perfect so flawless.
History paper in 4 hours and I'm one freaked out cat.Fach.It is now or never.I'm scared.Only humanities.Dammit.After this, physics tuition at 7pm again.Deng.
Mum's so in the festive mood.So many people came over yesterday that I cldnt concentrate.So I went downstairs to mug.Why did the dumb Cambridge O Levels personnels put O lvels during raya?Damn you stoopid mat salehs!
Haha kakak's nuts.She's so excited that her and Princess have the same baju kebaya.Gtg.Mum needs me.Seeya.
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[15 Nov 2004|07:41pm] |
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She wears the ring I gave her.
She wore the ring I gave her.
She will be wearing the ring I gave her.
She is wearing the ring I gave her.
She has been wearing the ring I gave her.
Ohmymofoticfuckinggod.
I saw her.She waved.And I saw something glitterin on her index finger.I stared and she nodded.I love this girl.Does she love me too?
Good luck to all those taking History Elective tom.
Ciaozah.
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[13 Nov 2004|03:18pm] |
Bugger,I've got WW2 and China 2 to finish by today.For those who dont take History,that's helluva load to cover in just one afternoon since we've got physics tuition tonight at 7.Fach.Physics tuition on the night before rayer and who came up with that idea?Her royal highness.
Us: Oi! Did you realise you made a tuition date for all of us with that tutor on the night b4 rayer?
Her: Eh? I thot rayer was on Monday. Haha sorrylah.
Merepekkerepek.So blah.Raya's tmr.Too fast.Too soon.My stomach's acting up again.Stewpid gastritis.That reminds me of the time she got hung up with it.Hah.
Okay kakak wanna use the comp.Seems like her darling Irshad made it to some hiphop finals and she wants to get some ideas on how to hold a congratulatory dinner.Eminem's crazy in love is blaring out of her room like noone's business.Mum's just too tired to scream at her coz tmr must ask for forgiveness anyways.
Starting line rawks btw.Go check out this song.
So it's safe to say that we've been here before;
Heart torn out, down for the count and still come back for more .
This lesson is learned too well.
Though, only unlearned by the time your wounds have healed.
Have you had enough?
I guess not because your lips are stuck to his.
It's Time to say enough is enough, you would be so better off.
You love him but tough because it's not coming back from him.
You can't win.
Stop expecting change , he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on.
Take a look around, you could have anyone.
So leave undeserving him.
It only hurts at first.
But then you will find someone to give you everything you want.
Try not to go r u n n i n g back to him.
So it goes unsaid that we've been here before.
Lonely nights and endless fights and sleeping on the floor.
And he's sorry, so the story goes.
It's read and replayed and ends the same way
Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on.
Take a look around, you could have anyone.
So leave undeserving him.
Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on.
Take a look around, you could have anyone.
So leave undeserving him
Jaggathon.Yesterday was the last terawih of the year.Sadly.Everyone looked solemn like as if they didnt wanna go home.I guess maybe coz we made loads of friends during Qiam and all.Exchanged numbers and all.Hopefully we'll meet up soon.
Kk,kakak's being impatient again.Ciaozah.
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[13 Nov 2004|06:54am] |
You live and you breath and then you die. In between, if you're lucky, you fall in love. Some loves stay forever, others are lost in only a day. But it's still there, underneath all the hurt and pride and years. If it's true love, it's never forgotten. So when someone says they're in love, don't tell them they can't be. Don't say they're too young, or it's too soon. Love knows no age or length of time. Love is a feeling, deep in your heart, that squeezes you tight and you never want to let it go.
Study.
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[12 Nov 2004|06:18pm] |
Can I rofL? Princess appeared in a skirt, ok! With slippers, ok! It was a -blinkstareblinkrubseyestareagain- moment,siah.I mean the most that I've seen her feminine was in a pink dress and that oso,mummy suruh coz she was coming over for dinner.Hah.A denim skirt with slippers, ok!I cant get over it.Even Ramli was a little unsure.
So we studied our asses off for History and I'm still feeling unprepared.Fach.I think I'm calling her tonight to explain Nazi Germany to me since she happily pranced off to see her friend at 1.China one.KMT vs CCP rivalry.1911 Revolution.Double Tenth Wuchang Rebellion.Boxer Rebellion.1st United Front.Shanghai Massacre.Xian Mutiny.Xtermination Campaign.2nd United Front.
Okay I better stop.Rayer's in two days.Hooray.Finally.No more fasting.Back to my get fat diet.And my collect duit rayer plan.Okay,mummy's calling.Cya guys.
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[12 Nov 2004|08:43am] |
The pain and bane of exams are getting to me.Fine, who isnt affected by it, ayt?Unlike most guys who go shoot pool, I'm forbidden to do so.I'm stuck in the most untidy house ever, trying to study my ass off for History.So my sis is off for some hiphop competition.Good luck.I realise that her boyfriend's blog isnt exactly a blog coz all he writes about is his hiphop crap.Fach.
Yasser Arafet died in France yesterday and as usually, Singapore with its diplomatic ties went on a [sympathetic] mood.Apart from the news that there might be a tiger roaming some private house somewhere.In Singapore? Right.
A mother once again loses her kids.Singaporeans are getting too careless.How can you lose your own kids?Think about it.It's like losing a hand.
I talked to Irfan and we decided punkrock is evolving into poppunk.Blink 182 aint punkrock.It's punk, we agree.But punkrock?!Arh,controversy 1-0-1.
Shikz,I'm sorry,ayt?I hope you wun kill me today with your huge pure physics book.Meeting her and Lina today with Ramli.Okay, cant keep them waiting.bye.
Oh yeah, I've got a leader's conference on the 5th of Dec.Who's coming?
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